Waking Up To Feelings of Apathy
There have been days where I’ve woken to the feelings of apathy and thinking whats the point? This morning was no exception. I just felt I wanted to give up, not engage with the world and had no enthusiasm for anything. The pull to take heed of these stories were pretty strong as they chattered away in my mind.
In the past I would have fallen victim to these and allowed them to cloud my day. Feeling no matter what I do I’m not good enough. However, this morning and in previous days recently when feeling this way, I’ve made the concerted effort to just witness them. There is no pushing them away or trying to stop them from rising, but instead there has been an allowance and acceptance of them.
I Am Enough!
So as well as just witnessing these stories, I began to say to myself “I am enough”. “I’m doing the best I can and no matter how bad things may seem, I will not give up or give in”. I touched my heart and womb area and said “I love you Janine” whilst reminding myself I’m my own best friend. These were the magic words to release the feeling of apathy and the tears began to flow for a few intense moments. As the tears subsided I felt a renewed sense of energy and joy rising in my heart. Enthusiasm bubbled up and was inspired to write this blog.
It has been my habit in the past when feeling this way to seek and search for love and support from loved ones and those I hold dear to my heart. However, in doing this no matter how helpful or supportive others were, it was only a temporary fix and these feelings would return with a veagence once again.
“I am enough”. I’m doing the best I can and no matter how bad things may seem, I will not give up or give in”.
The Freedom And Empowerment Of Befriending Myself
Learning to be my own best friend has allowed me to retreive my personal power. I’ve realised I do not need to wait for someone to approve of me, or for a positive situation to occur, because I can give this to myself in any given moment. It is such freedom to know that I’m no longer at the mercy of the external world to give me what I truly need on an emotional level.
I’ve also discovered I have a greater capacity to receive abundance than I did prior to being my own cheerleader. It is through giving myself loving kindness, compassion and just being here for myself, I’ve opened the door to fully accepting love and support outside of myself. Instead of pushing it away or not truly appreciating it, like I once did because I did not feel worthy of it.
I’m the one who is responsible for my life and so it is up to me to treat myself with the upmost respect. To stand in my own power, in the knowing I’m worthy of existing in the world, just as I am.